As I have said before, homekeeping doesn’t involve only being Mommy. I am also Big Man’s wife, which I consider my primary role. I am blessed to be married to the most wonderful man in the world, with whom I am head-over-heels in love, but that doesn’t mean our marriage is easy or perfect. Anyone who is being honest with you will agree that a good, healthy, happy marriage takes lots of work.
Big Man and I are both romantics at heart, which meant our dating years included a lot of romance that was book-worthy. Big Man pursued me and romanced me with flowers, gifts, love letters, poetry, and over-the-top dates. Our first few years of marriage included a lot of textbook romance too. But once Little Man came along, the nature of the romance changed, and the addition of Little Lady just continued that trend.
For a while I let myself think that our romance was fading because the flowers and love letter lessened in frequency. I will admit that my attitude was definitely not the best it could have been. But I learned that just because the gestures look different now doesn’t mean Big Man is any less romantic. So I am thankful for the new romantic things he does for me, and I try to romance him as well.
What is post-kid romance for us? It is him watching the kids so I can take a nap on Saturday morning. It is me making his lunch every day so he can take it to work. It is him making Kraft mac n cheese for dinner when I am too tired to cook. It is finding things to do together and learning to enjoy each others’ interests. He watches Food Network with me and I watch Sci-Fi TV shows with him. It is really about Big Man and me making each other our first priority. Yes, during this season with little kids most of our time and energy goes to them. But we both make it a priority to be each others’ best friend and lover. I look forward to when the kids are older and we can go on a dinner date to a fancy restaurant or spend a weekend away together. But for now, we can have a dinner date of Chinese takeout and cuddling on the couch the after the kids are in bed. And that is very romantic to me because I can look into his eyes and remember the most romantic thing of all: that he chose me to have by his side forever. He chose to go through life with me. And that is more than I could ever ask for.
Plus, he lets me eat all the Won-tons