(Lack of) Halloween Treats

If you look at some of the awesome food blogs out there, like this and this, you will see plenty of Halloween-themed treats. Some that are cute and fun, like this. Some that are icky and that I personally don’t understand why anyone would want to make and eat. But in case you were waiting for a Halloween-treats post here, sorry to say it isn’t going to happen. 1) I don’t have the time, patience, or skill to make cool-looking things, and 2) there is apparently an unwritten rule that Halloween treats need to feature candy corn, and I HATE candy corn.

It seems like Halloween is a bigger and bigger deal every year and I just don’t really understand why. When I was a kid, Halloween meant dressing up in a costume my mom made and going trick-or-treating.  My brother and I would carve pumpkins with my dad. That’s it. And Halloween was fun, but really just the “filler” holiday on the way to Thanksgiving and Christmas. But now, there are Halloween cards (to whom do you give a Halloween card?). There are multiple aisles in Target dedicated to candy, decorations, and costumes. And really, don’t get me started on how there are too many gross kids’ costumes. Baby bumblebee? Cute. Gory toddler zombie? Not cute. Disturbing.

And then there is the whole “adult” Halloween thing. As if there aren’t already enough people dressing slutty and getting drunk, now we have Halloween parties that encourage it. Guys, the only ones who find your “Breathalizer” costume funny are you and your drunk guy friends. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, don’t Google it. Ignorance is bliss. Seriously.) Ladies, dressing up as a “Sexy <insert any noun>” isn’t the way to get the right kind of attention. Let’s have some class, people.

The whole Halloween craze just doesn’t happen in our house. I mean, Little Man and Little Lady have costumes (a pumpkin and a lamb). Little Man is still too young for trick-or-treating so Big Man and I will probably just dress the kids up and take pictures, then wait for them to go to bed so we can eat the “leftover” candy we bought to “give out.” (And believe me, none of it will be candy corn.) That’s it. And I’m OK with that.

So if you want to make some Halloween treats, go for it, but make something yummy, not gross. If you must buy someone a Halloween card, well, I am sure Hallmark will be pleased. And please dress your kids in appropriate costumes. Let’s rescue gross, scary, slutty Halloween and return to fun, cute, candy-eating Halloween. Thank you


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